Lots Of Lubbock Obscurities

On days like this, when I find myself missing my wife so much that I can't function very well, I have to ask whether I'll ever be able to take drives like this again. We had a lot of fun doing our little expeditions. I don't think I'll be able to do this solo. It would not be the same. It would feel TERRIBLE, in fact. When I've finally posted the last photos, that might really be the end. It was fun while it lasted. Our life together was great while it lasted. I have no idea where to go or what to do now.

This area was sort of in an alley, off of a dead end street.

Of course, it was on the East side of town, where the most interesting things are.

There's something about an old wall...

We moved on.

 We found an old nightclub undergoing demolition. I had to photograph that before it was all knocked down.

It was a big place.

It was interesting to examine.

Poking around in these ruins (something I probably should not have done) revealed nothing to suggest that this building had been used as a nightclub-- no bar, no restrooms.

 This derelict car wash was across the street.

And we moved on.

We checked some "residential" areas. And then we moved back to the other side of town for a "9-11" flag display.

I think it's Kastman Park-- the display is by now traditional in this park.

My wife especially wanted me to photograph these flags. I regret that she never got to see them here, on this blog.

The problem I'm facing is that we did everything together. We enjoyed so many of the same things and we enjoyed being together. So virtually anything I can think of doing is going to be painful because she isn't with me. I can't drive anywhere, go anywhere, or do much of anything without being acutely aware of her absence-- aware of my loss. I never would have imagined that I could feel such incredible and crushing loneliness. I have to force myself to take care of myself. I force myself to eat, to shower and shave and do laundry and exercise and take care of the house. But it is all painful. It is sometimes almost impossible to face another day. This is really the worst emotional state I've ever been in.  I know it'll have to pass eventually. My heart goes out to anyone and everyone who might be dealing with the loss of a loved one.