Really Really Really Fine October Weather

 And it's getting finer all the time. Even rain, maybe, is on the way, and today is turning cloudy. 

Clouds will be consistent with my mood. I will be withdrawn. I will read a lot. I might do more clearing. The jungle is being tamed, slowly by slowly. Much will remain. But it will be easier for me to walk around, having more clear paths. 

Really Really Fine October Weather

 As I approach the age of 74 I really really need to respect my limitations. Getting other people to understand those limitations is the hard part. I hate it when someone says to me, "You're young!" Like hell I'm young. I am NOT young. I do not FEEL young. I don't even WANT to be young. I'm expected to jump in a car and be on the road for 7 to 8 hours. I don't think so. Not any more. Fly? That is out of the question. I'd be a nervous wreck. It would be torture. Have I not earned the right to have limitations? Have I not earned the right to quietly and peacefully DECLINE?? Yes, I exercise, but not as intensely as I did even a year ago. I lose ground and I can't recover it. It gets harder and harder just to maintain the status quo. and that's without the stress of travel and not being able to get any adequate exercise, or even adequate rest. Some people seem eager to tell me what I should be doing or ought to be able to do, how to live, what to eat-- and I just want to be left alone. Some people handle stress well. I don't. I don't travel well, or happily, I don't respond well to change, and I've never been very social. More and more I like less and less to even speak to people or have anything other than the most perfunctory interactions. That's how it is. That's my reality. I have no interest in changing anything. Unhealthy? So be it. I don't care.

Really Fine October Weather

 Perfect temperatures are on the way. Quality time outdoors. Soon I will be 74. I'm OLD. And I'm happy to be OLD. Except for my exercise routines, I live like an old person, I think like an old person, my outlook on life is that of an old person. I like it very much that the bulk of my life is in the past.

How horrible it would be, to be young. I pity the young. Most of them are idiots, but I pity them anyway. 

October IS The Best

 Maybe I read too much Ray Bradbury when I was younger. There's something special about October. I've always felt that.

I like Cool Mornings

 And those cool mornings have come with warm but not hot days, and cool evenings. Rain is needed but I'm sure we'll have some more eventually. I might do some more clearing this weekend. How much do I actually want to do, that is what I must decide.